- My heart is HEAVY for one friend who is dealing with stupid breast cancer. She is my age and this is her third diagnosis. She is currently undergoing chemo and just lost all her hair. She is one of the most beautiful and inspiring people I know and her journey has touched many lives and will continue to I know.
- My heart is HEAVY for another friend who is dealing with infertility. She has such great/amazing faith that God will heal her body and one day give her the child she SO longs for. And to Him she/we will give all the glory.
- My heart is HEAVY for a family member that is dealing with a very serious accusation. I can'tgo into details but it's very scary for him and could land him in a great deal of legal trouble.
- My heart is HEAVY for my little family. With Adam's new job (which we know was a blessing from God) comes great trial. We are separated until our home sells and as we all know the market AIN'T great. Being away from him is hard for me and our marriage. Addison is becoming more aware of his absence daily. And I know he misses us too. But we have faith that all is in God's hands and we are staying strong believeing we are in the midst of His will.
- My heart is HEAVY because we will be leaving our little town and moving to a big city. I complain about this town, but we do have roots here. We have a routine here. Friends here. Church here. Comfort is here. Starting over will be a very big challenge for me, but one I am preparing for.
- My heart is HEAVY because I am ready for another child. But with all that's going on right now, can I really handle a pregnancy. Alone. I was so tired the last pregnancy and now I might have to do it here, alone during the week. And then what if we move, I will have to pack up the house, etc. Then move. All while pregnant? I don't know if I want to do that. In my mind I had the second pregnancy all planned out but now, that's all changed. (Told yall I am a little crazy right now) The CONTROL FREAK in me panics at the thought of that but I also know God is in control. And I WANT Him to have control.
- My heart is HEAVY for my mom. She desperately wants (and needs) to lose weight. It's always been a struggle for her. She currently has lost 11 lbs. I am very proud of her but she has a long way to go to be in a healthy range. I really want to see her succeed this time. I am trying to be as encouraging as I can for her.
Am I the only one who feels so STRETCHED thin in relationships sometimes? I always want to be the BEST Christian, wife, mom, daughter, friend, supporter, cleaner, cook, that I can and sometimes I fail. That's hard for me as I am OCD as can be and I typically demand perfection from myself. I know that perfection isn't REAL but I demand myself be as close as possible and sometimes it mentily wears on me and I want to break down.
I don't break down often, but when I do... I hate it. I hate being weak. I don't mind being vulnerable, but I hate being weak. And sometimes when I break down I push people away and stay to myself which I realize is the opposite of what I should do. It's just natural for me. Something I have to work on. Daily.
I have lots going on the next 5-6 months that require a lot of planning and focus on my part. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed I will just do nothing! That doesn't help at all.
I am trying my best to be positive and productive and not get overwhelmed but somedays I just crumble a little. This is one of those days and this too shall pass...